With God, being honest about who we are leads to a relationship, not rejection.
Jesus proved this in His encounter with a woman of not-so-noble character.
Tired from a long journey, Jesus sat down beside a well in a town that most self-respecting Jews would go the extra mile to avoid. Then He started a conversation with a woman no self-respecting Jew would speak to. Notice how He turned a daily chore into a spiritual lesson.
When Jesus asked the woman for a drink, she expressed surprise that He would speak to her (John 4:7–9). Jesus indicated that He wasn’t who she thought He was, and she expressed interest in knowing who He was (vv. 10–12). Instead of identifying Himself, however, Jesus told her what He had to offer: water that would satisfy her thirst (vv. 13–14).
In a surprising reversal, the woman then asked Jesus for a drink (v. 15). When Jesus asked her to go get her husband, she explained that she didn’t have one. Instead of attacking her for what He knew was an evasive answer, Jesus commended her for telling the truth. Then He told her something about herself that she wasn’t eager to have known: that she’d had five husbands and was living with a man to whom she was not married (v. 18).
The woman then recognized that Jesus was a prophet (not because of what He said about Himself but because of what He knew about her, v. 19) and steered the uncomfortable discussion away from herself by bringing up the impersonal subject of where to worship (v. 20).
Jesus changed the subject back to something personal—from “where” to worship to “who” to worship (vv. 21–24). The woman, trying again to make it impersonal, expressed faith that the Messiah would one day explain everything (v. 25).
Seizing the opportunity the woman opened up by mentioning the Messiah, Jesus told her who He was with a simple “I am” statement: “I am he,” He said (v. 26).
Note how Jesus kept the conversation going. He didn’t tell the woman how bad she was. He just kept increasing her thirst (like salt) for more knowledge about Himself. He didn’t condemn her for who she was or what she was doing wrong. He gently led her to discover who He was and what He could do for her.
When the disciples rejoined Jesus, the woman returned to her village. Later in the passage we learn that many in the town believed in Jesus because of the woman’s testimony (v. 39). However, it wasn’t what Jesus said about Himself that convinced them; it was the truth He spoke about the woman. She returned to her neighbors urging them, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did,” (v. 29). After meeting Jesus, she was no longer ashamed of who she was. She had met someone who knew her intimately but whose foremost desire was to redeem her, not condemn her.
Seeing ourselves as we are is the first step toward becoming all that God designed us to be.
Excerpt from Above All, Love: Reflections on the Greatest Commandment, pages 110-112.
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